When I put this piece together, I wasn’t trying to be serious. In fact, I tried throughout the process to keep it light. I’m not sure I succeeded. Having time to reflect on the final version, I have to believe it represents, in part, my journey; balancing the inevitable and vital parts of my journey, while keeping my outlook casual. I need to remind myself regularly to lighten up. To take myself less seriously.

If I look closely at where I am, how does it compare to what I dreamed? Am I disappointed? Satisfied? Often, it depends on my mood or what transpired the day of my reflection. Although, it seems the only time I attempt this prolonged gaze is when the surface is misty. Is that on purpose? Who knows. Best to just laugh it off and try again the next time. But am I hoping for a clear picture or another blurry image?

Staring Back

My mirror is coated in mist
I don't recognize what's reflected in the hazy surface
Something resembling a phantom

I wipe it clear
But this doesn't scare away the ghost staring back at me
Rather, I'm fearful of the one in the frame
Don't look him directly in the eye!
Those eyes that remained focused through muck and marvels

No, I'm more at ease in the fog
Where the truth is unclear
You know that place where circumstances are forgivable

Perhaps he sees me as the cast
I wonder, does he even see me clearly?
Is he surprised? Disappointed? Regretful?
I'm choosing to project hope
Hoping to be his twin in status

Maybe if I don't look away,
Eventually, we will pair
Whether the mirror be murky or clear

B. Toner    February 2024