Confession is good for the soul. I confess that I’m giving myself permission to get it wrong. Already, I feel lighter. It takes energy to maintain a facade of knowing what to do – energy better directed to learning how to do. I’m relieved to admit, I can only guess.

What I lose in youth, I gain in ease at making that admission. I’m recognizing my abilities and my limitations. These I can live with and can continue to move forward. The people of this world say we’re in this together. I welcome their support with little guilt. No one, including me, has the knowledge or skill to face every challenge on this journey.

Still, I do strive to be wiser, braver, more capable. Still, I envy the talents of others and still, at times, I compare.

On the other hand, I take comfort in the wise scientists, the brave soldiers and the competent leaders. They help to take the pressure off me. However, they do lead me to ponder what part I play in the greater good. I know I’m in there, but I can only guess where.

I can only guess what the brave are facing,
Watch them carve a path from stone,
The risk, the weight, ignoring fate,
As they aim for the unknown,

I can only guess what the wise are thinking,
Testing theories without names,
Sorting greens from blues, and tales from truths,
Solving puzzles into frames

Chorus
So carry me, carry me on, carry me all the way
Borrowed goals, unpaid tolls, standing outside the play,
Carry me, carry me on, carry me all the way
Two cold feet, shotgun seat, higher the price I’ll pay

I can only guess what the loved are feeling,
Warming hands with endless smiles,
The tint, the glow, with room to grow,
Holding forever all the while

I can only guess why the world is turning,
Tracking time and keeping pace,
The trees, the sun, all wrapped in one,
Spinning patterns into space

Chorus
So carry me, carry me on, carry me all the way,
Borrowed goals, unpaid tolls, standing outside the play,
Carry me, carry me on, carry me all the way,
Two cold feet, shotgun seat, higher the price I’ll pay

I can only guess why the world is turning…

Music and lyrics by B. Toner, August 2021