Swallow the pill, no matter how big! Otherwise the medicine won’t take effect; no healing and no moving on. Sometimes though, I stall. The capsule sits right on my tongue. I’m willing myself to gulp it down. Do it now, I tell myself, but I get lost in my own mind games. The brief sting of a needle will help in the long run, yet I hesitate before the shot.
I put off uncomfortable conversations, although I know both the message and the fallout remain unchanged. I procrastinate in altering my health routines despite the obvious benefits.
I appreciate that I’m protecting myself from short and small pains. Why haven’t I learned from aged experience? I will recover from the jolt of the action.
About the only thing I do jump into these days is immediate gratification: chocolate, napping, likes on Facebook.
How do I infuse some of that same vigour into initiating the more challenging tasks? Maybe I need more connections between my brain’s pleasure centre and my frontal lobe. Perhaps I’m trying to account for all the factors before taking a risk. What’s more daunting, the size of the first step or the weight of the outcome? If I ask enough questions, can I avoid finding a solution? When I set reminders, they bring only guilt for unaccomplished tasks and weigh down my progress.
The force of inertia is a powerful one to overcome. I just need the right lever, the correct catalyst. If I’m fortunate enough to find it, I may even use it sooner or later.
Probably later!
Why wait?
Why do I wait for the moon rise to chase away the sun? Why do I wait for sometime soon; today’s already begun? Why do I wait for the waves to tickle my toes before I cast offshore? I know life takes a million steps; maybe a million more. Spinning my wheels, the past- the future, they just won’t pull apart The finish line , remains invisible until I cross the start Inertia holds the logs, stuck steady, gathering moss Rotting my stalled path, making it longer to cross Why do I wait to move? Staying still won’t shade me forever. Why do I wait to witness? Hesitation fails to be clever. Why do I wait to risk it? Time’s not hiding around the bend. I recover from initial shocks when I begin and begin again. Watching paint slowly dry won’t cover my broken spots Procrastination slows the flow, creating more blood clots Halfway to never can begin with one distraction Getting stuck in my ways only delays my inaction Brian Toner March 2021