Checkmate!

A crisp word that signals the end of a battle. Even with the exclamation point, it’s just a statement of a situation. Simple – two syllables usually pronounced with a steady voice and very little emotion; accepted by the receiver.  The game is over. Shake hands and reset the board.

To be fair, in the game of chess, I get warning signs. “Check!” My call to action; to make attempts in hopes to prevent my loss.

Would that I had those omens in life before being dealt devastating blows.

On the other hand, maybe I do receive signs, but choose to ignore them.

You’re staying up too late for too many nights. Check!

You’ve eaten too much chocolate. Check!

You’ve put off making that difficult phone call. Check!

You’ve busied yourself right out of the quality time with loved ones. Check!

Similar to chess, there’s always a strategy directing me to a victory or to a loss. Those combinations of choices that lead to consequential and not innocent circumstances: habits, decisions, responses to others.

If someone were to whisper “Check!” at the tipping point, (not a lucrative career I admit), then maybe I wouldn’t fall so hard. Having a “check”  “mate” as it were. Even in losing, maybe I would accept it better having been prepared by my check mate. Checkmate! Clear the board, move on.

The again, maybe my life is better suited to checkers.

CHECKMATE!

My kingdom fallen, helpless. Who am I, why so careless? Ran scenarios through my mind. Unexposed axes to grind. Protected my flank, kept pace. Covered my back, left no trace. Misread many warning signs. Victim of my own design. Full of doubt, correcting wrong. Now defenceless, once was strong. Battle tested, battle drawn. Scars a-plenty, injured pawn. Black and blue, no longer green. More to come, more to be seen.

B. Toner, October 2016